As a pastor, one of the things that I think is most important about any church is that it's a safe place to ask questions, express doubt, and test belief. Specifically, it's important to see that the Bible doesn't back away from challenges and questions, but speaks boldly to a variety of different topics. Likely each of us can remember hearing some variation of: "Why? Because I said so, that's why!" as children, and we would all probably admit that a response like that didn't inspire confidence or motivation for the requested behavior. We often obeyed, but only because of duty or fear of punishment.
Sadly, many Christians see God as a "Because I said so!" kind of deity. Over years, we've trained people not to ask questions, not to probe for deeper understanding, not to challenge traditional ways of thinking, etc. Of course, with that kind of a church environment, is it any wonder that so many of us follow Jesus because of duty or fear of punishment! However, even a cursory study of the Word would show that God has called us to Himself primarily for His glory; therefore, our begrudging submission is the last thing that He desires, because it in no way brings Him glory. He's called us--wired us, in fact--to find the greatest possible joy in following and pursuing Him, and that's what should be the driver of our pursuit!
All that to say that this past spring I had the thought that we should all as a congregation ask questions about God and faith, and then take the summer to investigate what God had to say about those things. It was a brilliant summer series in that each message was effectively "stand-alone", so vacations, guest speakers, etc. didn't interrupt the flow. However, here's where it wasn't quite so brilliant: I hadn't thought about the amount of research and study that would go into such a series. Whew! Tons of new books read and digested in record time...
One of the questions asked was in regards to whether premarital sex was truly a sin biblically, and the corollary question "how far is too far?" I found the new book Sex, Dating and Relationships to be a clear, concise, thoroughly biblical and refreshing treatment on the subject. The authors base their study and position not simply on the moral code, but on the typology that's present throughout the Scriptures which ties the husband/wife relationship to the relationship of Christ and the Church. With this parallel clearly in mind, the purpose and use of sexuality is no longer simply about following rules, but rather, it's a direct statement of worship and understanding of the nature and character of God Himself.
The authors make the case that God has instituted three categories of relational interaction: family, neighbor, and spouse. The obvious exclusion from these categories is the "dating" relationship category--they state quite effectively that the process leading up to marriage is really a specific category of the neighbor relationship, not a unique category itself. From the perspective of sexuality, this is a revolutionary idea: family and neighbor both preclude sexuality, while the spousal relationship obviously requires it. Therefore, the basis on which we operate "pre-marriage" is within the neighbor category. Simply put: any thing a young man wouldn't do with his sister, he shouldn't be doing with his girlfriend!
Obviously, this is a hugely counter-cultural position, and one that very few will take seriously in practice. However, one of the great strengths of the book is the critique the authors give of the lack of true commitment outside of the covenant of marriage within so-called "exclusive" relationships, where unhealthy sexual activity is most often found. They rightly state that an "exclusive dating relationship" is only as committed as each of the parties is to that relationship, and the fact that it can be ended immediately based on the desire of one or the other, with no mutual consent or process (read: the definition of a teenage break-up) means that there is no possibility of true commitment in that relationship prior to engagement and marriage. As opposed to the traditional model of dating, they build the case for "dating friendships" that explore romantic relationships within the context of healthy community, and then when a decision for marriage is made, the couple moves directly towards that covenant with only a very short engagement period.
There's much more to the book, but it's a very important addition to this very important discussion, and I highly recommend it. I think older teens and beyond will find it readable, although a bit challenging at times. However, it should be required reading for every youth pastor and youth leader who are engaging these conversations with students. I wish it had been in my library a decade ago.
Wednesday, September 12, 2012
Tuesday, September 11, 2012
Your Church is Too Safe, by- Mark Buchanan
Full disclosure: I'm completely in the tank for Mark Buchanan. I think he's an incredible writer, a great pastor, and his books have been incredibly helpful to me. Therefore, when I had the opportunity to read and review his latest book, Your Church is Too Safe, I jumped at the chance. The title is clearly a play on his former book Your God is Too Safe, which is a book about venturing into the depths of our relationship with God through the practice of some of the classic spiritual disciplines. Great book which I highly recommend.
His latest book is directed more to the pastor or church leader, rather than the everyday guy or girl. That said, I'm not sure that it wouldn't be accessible to just about anyone. While he's addressing the church as a broad organization, much of the most poignant and challenging material in the book is just as applicable to anyone who seeks to authentically follow Jesus.
First: the good. Buchanan is an incredible teacher/storyteller, and his illustrations and stories are woven into his points so seamlessly and naturally that reading it never feels like an effort. From a content standpoint, he's extremely effective at helping us to recognize where we tend to settle for "safe instead of dangerous, nice instead of holy, cautious instead of bold, [and] self-absorbed instead of counting everything loss in order to be found in Christ." Buchanan is at his best when he challenges the most sensitive areas of our discipleship, at points challenging us to even question whether we are disciples at all. He pushes us to not just believe, but to act like Jesus: in the way we spend, the way we give, the way we love, the way we serve, the way we engage the community around us (both inside and outside the church), the way we evangelize--literally, just about every aspect of what it means to be the church. He pushes all the right buttons and challenges us to look deep inside of ourselves, and at the heart of our churches.
That said (you knew it was coming!), I wasn't as impressed as I expected to be. When I opened my Kindle copy of the book, there was a review from some lady named Nancy Beach. I have no idea who she is, and I've never heard of the book that she's credited with writing. I'm sure she's a wonderful woman, and I think it's quite likely that she even read the book before she wrote her review of it. She says this: "Don't read this book without preparing to be disturbed in all the right ways... Mark Buchanan calls us out of our safe zones of comfort to a vision that is transformational--and somewhat terrifying. It's the only kind of church that can change the world." That was my introduction to this book. So, maybe my expectations were set a bit too high. It's a good book. It challenges us, and OK, at times maybe even disturbs us, in some good ways. However, I wouldn't say that it calls us to a terrifyingly transformational vision. And in all fairness, Buchanan himself might not say that it does--I didn't take the time to call him for comment. It pushes the North American church in some areas in which we need to be pushed. But generally, he does what a good pastor should do--he calls us back to what it means to act like Jesus. For some churches, that may be terrifyingly transformational. For most of us, it's just difficult. Buchanan pushes on that part of us that longs to settle comfortably in this world, living by the values of this culture, enjoying our religion like we might enjoy a strong cup of coffee. He pushes on us and reminds us that we're not made for this world. That we aren't supposed to live like we belong here. He reminds us that we're supposed to be different, and then he uses his incredible gifting as a story-teller to both re-tell us the Story itself, as well as telling little vignettes from his experiences along the way.
A classic example: if you search for reviews on this book, the vast majority of them will cite the chapter that Buchanan opens by telling the story of a lesbian couple who attend his church. it makes for good "shock and awe" in the book review, but it's really not that kind of a story. He simply talks about the church learning to truly love and engage these two wonderful women with the love of Jesus, while not sacrificing the truth of the Word along the way. Exactly right. I took no exception to the way that he unpacked his church's reaction to the situation, and I believe that by and large, his church acted like hands and feet of Jesus, as we all are intended to be as the church. But that was just it: it didn't seem that profound. Are there lots of churches that wouldn't have responded with such a healthy balance of grace and truth? I'm sure. And maybe I'm crazy to think that our church would have--but I truly believe we would. They responded the right way. I would hope that we would have too. Good point, well said, but nothing terrifyingly transformational there.
Your Church is Too Safe is a good, helpful book. It stands in a line with a good number of books that have come out in the last few years that challenge the often apathetic, consumeristic, self-focused North American church to stop being apathetic, consumeristic and self-focused. And don't get me wrong--it's a message that's desperately needed! And Buchanan does it quite well: in my opinion not quite as effectively as David Platt's Radical, but more effectively than Kyle Idleman's Not a Fan. I won't take the time to list the dozens of other books in this sub-genre or to rank them, but trust me, they're out there, and if you search hard enough, I'm sure someone already has. Maybe I'm crazy to think that pastors and leaders and churches should already know this stuff. Maybe it's more profound that I give it credit for. If so, then please--run out and get a copy immediately, buy one for everyone on your church leadership team, and don't sleep until all of you have read it all the way through at least three times.
But if not, it's still a good and necessary kick in the pants. And if we're going to be honest, we all really need one of those now and then.
His latest book is directed more to the pastor or church leader, rather than the everyday guy or girl. That said, I'm not sure that it wouldn't be accessible to just about anyone. While he's addressing the church as a broad organization, much of the most poignant and challenging material in the book is just as applicable to anyone who seeks to authentically follow Jesus.
First: the good. Buchanan is an incredible teacher/storyteller, and his illustrations and stories are woven into his points so seamlessly and naturally that reading it never feels like an effort. From a content standpoint, he's extremely effective at helping us to recognize where we tend to settle for "safe instead of dangerous, nice instead of holy, cautious instead of bold, [and] self-absorbed instead of counting everything loss in order to be found in Christ." Buchanan is at his best when he challenges the most sensitive areas of our discipleship, at points challenging us to even question whether we are disciples at all. He pushes us to not just believe, but to act like Jesus: in the way we spend, the way we give, the way we love, the way we serve, the way we engage the community around us (both inside and outside the church), the way we evangelize--literally, just about every aspect of what it means to be the church. He pushes all the right buttons and challenges us to look deep inside of ourselves, and at the heart of our churches.
That said (you knew it was coming!), I wasn't as impressed as I expected to be. When I opened my Kindle copy of the book, there was a review from some lady named Nancy Beach. I have no idea who she is, and I've never heard of the book that she's credited with writing. I'm sure she's a wonderful woman, and I think it's quite likely that she even read the book before she wrote her review of it. She says this: "Don't read this book without preparing to be disturbed in all the right ways... Mark Buchanan calls us out of our safe zones of comfort to a vision that is transformational--and somewhat terrifying. It's the only kind of church that can change the world." That was my introduction to this book. So, maybe my expectations were set a bit too high. It's a good book. It challenges us, and OK, at times maybe even disturbs us, in some good ways. However, I wouldn't say that it calls us to a terrifyingly transformational vision. And in all fairness, Buchanan himself might not say that it does--I didn't take the time to call him for comment. It pushes the North American church in some areas in which we need to be pushed. But generally, he does what a good pastor should do--he calls us back to what it means to act like Jesus. For some churches, that may be terrifyingly transformational. For most of us, it's just difficult. Buchanan pushes on that part of us that longs to settle comfortably in this world, living by the values of this culture, enjoying our religion like we might enjoy a strong cup of coffee. He pushes on us and reminds us that we're not made for this world. That we aren't supposed to live like we belong here. He reminds us that we're supposed to be different, and then he uses his incredible gifting as a story-teller to both re-tell us the Story itself, as well as telling little vignettes from his experiences along the way.
A classic example: if you search for reviews on this book, the vast majority of them will cite the chapter that Buchanan opens by telling the story of a lesbian couple who attend his church. it makes for good "shock and awe" in the book review, but it's really not that kind of a story. He simply talks about the church learning to truly love and engage these two wonderful women with the love of Jesus, while not sacrificing the truth of the Word along the way. Exactly right. I took no exception to the way that he unpacked his church's reaction to the situation, and I believe that by and large, his church acted like hands and feet of Jesus, as we all are intended to be as the church. But that was just it: it didn't seem that profound. Are there lots of churches that wouldn't have responded with such a healthy balance of grace and truth? I'm sure. And maybe I'm crazy to think that our church would have--but I truly believe we would. They responded the right way. I would hope that we would have too. Good point, well said, but nothing terrifyingly transformational there.
Your Church is Too Safe is a good, helpful book. It stands in a line with a good number of books that have come out in the last few years that challenge the often apathetic, consumeristic, self-focused North American church to stop being apathetic, consumeristic and self-focused. And don't get me wrong--it's a message that's desperately needed! And Buchanan does it quite well: in my opinion not quite as effectively as David Platt's Radical, but more effectively than Kyle Idleman's Not a Fan. I won't take the time to list the dozens of other books in this sub-genre or to rank them, but trust me, they're out there, and if you search hard enough, I'm sure someone already has. Maybe I'm crazy to think that pastors and leaders and churches should already know this stuff. Maybe it's more profound that I give it credit for. If so, then please--run out and get a copy immediately, buy one for everyone on your church leadership team, and don't sleep until all of you have read it all the way through at least three times.
But if not, it's still a good and necessary kick in the pants. And if we're going to be honest, we all really need one of those now and then.
Best Intentions
So, it would only take a not so in-depth review of this blog to recognize that I haven't been posting as regularly as I'd like. For the two or three of you that might look at this once a month or so, I'm sorry that's you haven't seen anything for the last 4-6 times you've checked!
I truly did intend to use this as an opportunity to post stories about some of the wonderful people that my family and I have had the privilege of being connected with. However, I started to think about things like privacy and permission and that sort of thing, and all of a sudden it got a bit more complicated... I then intended to post another "new direction" to re-direct the old "new direction," but it was then that I realized that I didn't yet have a new direction. So, again, no post. Then summer came. We remodeled the basement. I put the world's tiniest office into our old laundry room. I celebrated having my very own 4' x 6' space stuffed full of books. Still no post. I began to work out some details to potentially publish the book that I had written this past spring on the values of our church. That took at least an hour or two. Still no post. I began to study and then to write the new study guide on the gospel of Mark. We finished painting and decorating the basement and preparing it for the adventure of homeschooling. Still no post. Then the school year actually started. Things went from busy to... busier. STILL no post.
So, dear friends, I'm going to try again. Fair warning--I've failed often enough that you have absolutely no reason to trust me. I've been reading a bunch, so I'm going to post a few book reviews, as I've already done a few times on this site. I'll also try to at least give a weekly thought about... something. If no one cares, I'll completely forgive you for that. But it would be good discipline, as it appears that I'm lacking in that as it comes to writing these days.
Here goes nothing...
I truly did intend to use this as an opportunity to post stories about some of the wonderful people that my family and I have had the privilege of being connected with. However, I started to think about things like privacy and permission and that sort of thing, and all of a sudden it got a bit more complicated... I then intended to post another "new direction" to re-direct the old "new direction," but it was then that I realized that I didn't yet have a new direction. So, again, no post. Then summer came. We remodeled the basement. I put the world's tiniest office into our old laundry room. I celebrated having my very own 4' x 6' space stuffed full of books. Still no post. I began to work out some details to potentially publish the book that I had written this past spring on the values of our church. That took at least an hour or two. Still no post. I began to study and then to write the new study guide on the gospel of Mark. We finished painting and decorating the basement and preparing it for the adventure of homeschooling. Still no post. Then the school year actually started. Things went from busy to... busier. STILL no post.
So, dear friends, I'm going to try again. Fair warning--I've failed often enough that you have absolutely no reason to trust me. I've been reading a bunch, so I'm going to post a few book reviews, as I've already done a few times on this site. I'll also try to at least give a weekly thought about... something. If no one cares, I'll completely forgive you for that. But it would be good discipline, as it appears that I'm lacking in that as it comes to writing these days.
Here goes nothing...
Thursday, May 17, 2012
Connecting Generations
I mentioned last week that I was writing for another blog--that blog is published by the Joel Comiskey Group, which is a global cell church ministry resource. For the month of May, they are focusing on children and youth in cells, and Joel asked me to write about our experiences with intergenerational cell groups, which we call LIFE groups. I figured that at least this first one might be of interest here as well, since it falls in line with the "story" theme--just not as personal as some future ones might be!
What does it mean
to have an “intergenerational” model of ministry? At our church in York , PA
However, we
noticed a problem. The young married
couples had questions and problems that were very typical for young married
couples: How do I decide on a house to buy?
When should we start trying to have a family? When am I old enough to start playing slow pitch
softball? And so, they asked others in
their community. Predictably, they had
no good answers. So, they pooled their
ignorance and made the best decisions they could. Meanwhile, as the group of retirees connected
with one another, they discovered that while they had a lot of answers, none of
them really had any questions. What was
more, when they simply talked to one another and compared aches and pains and
the current ailment of the day, they found that they didn’t have the energy to even
ask questions. Or, for that matter, to play
slow pitch softball.
When we made the
initial transition from a program-based church to a cell church, we made the
determination that our cells would be intergenerational. I’d love to say that it was a wise, well-thought
out decision with deep theological grounding, and it’s not that theology wasn’t
considered. However, we had a bunch of
kids and we needed to do something
with them. Intergeneration cells
answered the question; and in the past fifteen years, we’ve seen an incredible
blessing for our children (more on that next week). But we quickly discovered that
intergenerational cells were not simply a strategy to care for children! With an intentionally integrated community,
young adults had older men and women speaking wisdom into their lives. Children suddenly had multiple adopted
grandparents who loved and cared for them.
The energy of young lives was somehow infused into an older generation. Teens were no longer simply being mentored by
a youth sponsor; they were being invested in by an entire family. Single men had a family to eat dinner with;
widows had companionship; empty-nesters had children running through their
living rooms again, which they could send back to their homes when they were
ready to enjoy their hard-earned peace and quiet. And there were great crowds at the slow-pitch
softball games.
I’d love to say
that once established, maintaining intergenerationality was a breeze, but I’d
be lying. Groups would grow and
multiply, and the multiplications looked as though they were divided by
age. Every young adult that walked
through the doors of the church would end up in the same group, until there was
a five year spread from the oldest to youngest.
But then, a fascinating thing happened: the older groups started asking
younger families to join them. Young
groups began recognizing the need for an older generation to speak into their
lives. Slowly, the values changed. It’s still work, but we all recognize the
value of the work.
What’s your story?
Thursday, May 10, 2012
A New Direction
So, if you're following along, you recognize that I once again hoped to write "now and then" when I got back from a trip. Then, I came home. Four kids. My wonderful wife. A house. A church full of people that I love and care for. Preaching deadlines. Writing deadlines. And, of course, no more blogs. That seems to be the story of these things. In my defense, I've just finished a book that we're using for the current sermon series and will be using in the future as a part of our discipleship track. Not sure that it's online yet, but soon you'll be able to find a copy of it here. I also have another blog that I'm writing for, and a deadline for that.
But honestly, travel just seems far more exciting than normal life. I think about posting, but I'm not sure what to write. Who wants to know about my day full of meetings, or the trials of moving four kids in any one direction? I'd do a play by play of the Little League game I'm coaching, but how many times can I write: "Ball Four. Another walk." Soon or later it will get old. We're getting the basement water-proofed as we speak, and while we're genuinely excited by the prospect of usable space downstairs, it doesn't necessarily make for scintillating reading. More laundry. More dishes. Laughter. Some tears. Joy. Boredom, at times, although they seem to be precious few. We live normal lives, for the most part. At least, as normal as a pastor married to a part-time dance instructor, part-time horse rider/trainer with four kids eleven and under can be.
So, with some encouragement by my aforementioned wife, I'm going to take this blog a different direction.
Our lives are normal. The lives of those around us are normal. But in the midst of all that "normalness" (which I just knew spell check would have an issue with!), there are moments of extraordinary. Bits of beauty in the midst of the mundane, if you will. Now and then, those things might happen in our lives. However, most often, it's in the lives of those around us--those who are a part of this incredible community in York that has become like a family away from home for us.
Someone should tell those stories. I think about that all of the time as I talk with the people that cross my path each day. Incredible stories. Fascinating pieces of grace. Someone should tell these stories. And so, I guess I will. I won't make promises on how often, or how long, or how many--but I'll try. I'll do my best to honor my friends by telling their stories with grace. Of course, I'll only tell stories with permission, and when necessary, I'll change names to protect the innocent and the guilty. However, finally, the stories can be told. And if anyone's interested, I suppose I'll tell some more. There's certainly a lot of us out here in York, and that means lots of stories to tell.
But honestly, travel just seems far more exciting than normal life. I think about posting, but I'm not sure what to write. Who wants to know about my day full of meetings, or the trials of moving four kids in any one direction? I'd do a play by play of the Little League game I'm coaching, but how many times can I write: "Ball Four. Another walk." Soon or later it will get old. We're getting the basement water-proofed as we speak, and while we're genuinely excited by the prospect of usable space downstairs, it doesn't necessarily make for scintillating reading. More laundry. More dishes. Laughter. Some tears. Joy. Boredom, at times, although they seem to be precious few. We live normal lives, for the most part. At least, as normal as a pastor married to a part-time dance instructor, part-time horse rider/trainer with four kids eleven and under can be.
So, with some encouragement by my aforementioned wife, I'm going to take this blog a different direction.
Our lives are normal. The lives of those around us are normal. But in the midst of all that "normalness" (which I just knew spell check would have an issue with!), there are moments of extraordinary. Bits of beauty in the midst of the mundane, if you will. Now and then, those things might happen in our lives. However, most often, it's in the lives of those around us--those who are a part of this incredible community in York that has become like a family away from home for us.
Someone should tell those stories. I think about that all of the time as I talk with the people that cross my path each day. Incredible stories. Fascinating pieces of grace. Someone should tell these stories. And so, I guess I will. I won't make promises on how often, or how long, or how many--but I'll try. I'll do my best to honor my friends by telling their stories with grace. Of course, I'll only tell stories with permission, and when necessary, I'll change names to protect the innocent and the guilty. However, finally, the stories can be told. And if anyone's interested, I suppose I'll tell some more. There's certainly a lot of us out here in York, and that means lots of stories to tell.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
