Blind Faith

Over the last few days, I've been almost dreading this trip. It's funny to me that it's the opportunity of a lifetime, but it's the pull of everyday, normal life that makes me want to stay. However, I still know that God has led thus far, and I continue to trust His leading.

We (Amanda and I) strongly felt that God was planning to use this time to teach us both some difficult but important things. We believed (and still do) that He was inviting us into this time to wrestle with these as yet unknown issues. But, increasingly, I'm recognizing that much of that "dealing" may be hard - even painful. And I'm flinching a bit as I prepare...

Knowing how I feel, the fact that "for the joy set before Him" Jesus endured the cross is even more incredible to me. Just the simple anticipation of this trip is difficult - I can't even imagine that last turn towards Jerusalem, knowing that there would be no "return flight". To the best of my knowledge, I'll be returning from Italy right on time, with no issues. He knew there would be no trip back. What was that anticipation like?

Faith is such an interesting thing. The motive for this trip is a belief that God has directed both Amanda and I. The way that we live our lives is directed wholly by the fact that we believe that God has a plan for us. Each significant decision - and increasingly, the less significant ones - are submitted before God, and we seek to follow Him. And yet, we've never seen this direction, at least not in the way most would think - we haven't heard God's voice, haven't had a face to face conference in which we've received His clear Word to us on these issues, haven't seen writing in the sky (or on a wall). And we have no idea what life would look like if we didn't live it this way. Might it look the same? Totally different? In faith, I believe the latter... There's something good about being able to put complete blind faith in a God who's bigger than me, knows more than me, and has a plan that's broader than I can see. Some would say that's a crutch. I don't see it that way. On most days, I firmly believe that life would be "easier" without faith - but I also believe that life is far better with it.

I believe it by faith.